Non-Fiction Writers's topics - tribe.net

Class action overtime lawsuit filed against Sun Microsystems (X-Posted)

2008-05-15T15:39:55Z

From Mercury News: www.mercurynews.com/breakingnews/ci_9261230?nclick_check=1

Dani Hoenemier says she worked long days as a technical writer for Sun Microsystems, sometimes spending over 60 hours a week at her computer when the company was preparing a new product release.

Sun's technical writers may earn salaries of $100,000 a year, but they don't get overtime pay for the extra hours, according to Hoenemier's attorney, who is challenging the company's practice of treating Hoenemier and about 300 other writers as exempt from state labor laws governing overtime and breaks.

In a case that could prove costly for many tech firms, a Santa Clara County judge on Tuesday certified the legal challenge as a class action, which means Hoenemier can pursue her lawsuit on behalf of all salaried technical writers who worked for Sun since 2002.

Sun argues in court papers that it follows industry-wide practice in its treatment of technical writers. The company said the writers are well-paid, professional employees who are legally exempt from overtime rules because they are highly skilled, work independently and meet other criteria spelled out in the law.

If the company loses, it could owe "well over $20 million" in back-pay, according to Hoenemier's attorney, Aaron Kaufmann of Walnut Creek.

California enacted controversial legislation in 2000 that exempted "computer professionals" such as software developers from rules requiring overtime for working over 40 hours a week or 8 hours a day.

Kaufmann argues that technical writers were not included in that exemption. Sun says the writers' duties fall under provisions that exempt administrative, professional or computer professional workers.

Sun, which makes servers, software and other products, said the writers must work independently, interact with engineers and produce a range of material - from customer guides to internal documents and blogs.

Many of the writers don't want to be hourly workers and have declined to cooperate with the lawsuit, Sun said in a statement. In court, Sun argued the case should not be a class action because the writers don't have uniform duties.

Superior Court Judge Jack Komar disagreed, although he ordered Hoenemier's attorneys to find a second employee willing to be named as a plaintiff in the case.

In court documents, Sun attorneys argued Hoenemier was not a typical representative of the class; they characterized her as a disgruntled employee who performed poorly and had to be supervised more closely than others.

Hoenemier resigned from Sun in 2006, a year after Sun bought another company where she had worked since 2002. Kaufmann said Sun ordered her to improve her performance after she complained about overtime.

In a separate case, Bloomberg News reported that Google agreed to a $375,000 settlement Tuesday with 82 recruiters hired on hourly contracts who said they were forced to work "off the clock" without pay.

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 0 replies

Gigslist - ShowBiz News, jobs, auditions, tips, resumes and resources.

2007-03-24T21:45:46Z

Gigslist - ShowBiz News, jobs, auditions, tips, resumes and resources.

OoooooooooooooooooO
Listings are from Gigslist.org Main Board from the past 7 Days.
Ooooooo

Greenbelt, MD - Crew and Auditions, April 9-10 FreeJobs
OutOftheBlackBox Theatre Company (O2B2) will hold auditions for "Volpone," a new adaptation by Bill Jones of the play by Ben Jonson http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=696

Arts Resources Wanted for Industry Directory
Submit your arts site, group, tribe, mailing list, publication to the Arts Job Bible for free and Free membership to Gigslist.org and free listing. http://www.gigslist.org

Touring - Guitar Tech for the Wallflowers Paid Jobs
Seeking touring Guitar Tech for the Wallflowers.
http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=700

The Arts Job Bible 831 places to find jobs, casting calls, crew, talent, funding, networking, and industry contacts in Acting, Music, Music Industry, Theatre, Backstage, Film, TV, and Video. Regularly updated with new listings. Only $6.95 at http://www.gigslist.org

Beverly Hills, CA - Administrative Assistant Paid Jobs
Music/Special Events Management Agency (3-4 person office) seeking a Full-Time Administrative Assistant http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=699

Gigslist Reel Idol - Reel Submissions Wanted
Register a Free Account to Submit your Reel and Vote on other Reels Click here… http://www.gigslist.org/user.php?op=register&module=NewUser

Rock music needed for upcoming film FreeJobs http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=698

Entertainment Contract Library
Know what is in a contract ahead of time so you know what you are signing. Digital files that you can use again and again, save thousands on lawyers fees. 100% Money Back Guarantee. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=Sections&req=viewarticle&artid=3&page=1

SF Bay Area - Event Photographers Needed Paid Jobs
Event photography firm looking for freelance photographers to work during May and June at graduations. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=697

San Francisco CA - Storyboard Artist Paid Jobs
Moviehead Pictures is hiring a Storyboard Artist Needed For Romantic Thriller, http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=695

Los Angeles CA - Carpenters Paid Jobs
Looking for day player carpenters with tools and experience pay is $200 per day. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=694

Hollywood, CA - Receptionist/Vault Librarian Paid Jobs
PlasterCITY Digital seeking a friendly energetic individual to answer phones and manage our tape library. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=693

Aliso Viejo, CA - Stunt Coordinator/Stuntman Paid Jobs
We are looking for a stunt coordinator/stuntman for an upcoming short film/trailer production. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=692

New York - Casting PSA Paid Jobs
Looking to cast two roles, one of a Doctor and one of a patient who will be in his underwear being examined on a New York city street. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=691

New York City - Casting Web/Interactive Paid Jobs
SEEKING ACTORS FOR a KOREAN/JAPANESE WEB-DRAMA. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=690

Chicago, IL - Feature Film Cast and Crew Call Paid Jobs
Film company seeking cast and crew for indy film. Seeking all ages, genders and ethnicity's. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=689

Lakewood NJ - Female Variety Dancer Performer Paid Jobs
woman, under 30, who can tap dance and/or perform a specialty number such as juggling, balloon twisting, magic, hula hoops, etc. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=688

Anywhere - Game Animators Paid Jobs
Mocap Latte, a motion capture studio, is looking for freelance Max and Maya animators. for upcoming game and film work. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=687

Washington DC - Supervising Editor, Impact of War Paid Jobs
National Public Radio The Supervising Editor provides editorial and production guidance to Bureau Chief and NPR member station staff
http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=686

Washington DC - Broadcast/Recording Technician Paid Jobs
National Public Radio has several immediate openings for Broadcast/Recording Technicians. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=685

4/7 New Jersey - Pitch Session at Fairleigh Dickinson Unversity Events
Seating Limited!! Pitch to Oscar Winner Larry Meistrich (Sling Blade, You Can Count on Me, Belly) and execs from the newly formed NEHST Creations. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=684

Philippines - Asian Stallions / Collaboration /Support Classifieds
We are Indiefilmaker in the Philippines who will collaborate/support with projects who has budgets ranging from $35,000.00 to $600,000. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=683

Culver City, CA - Models for music video. Paid Jobs
We need fabulous babes for a rap video next Tuesday all day in Culver City with possible shoots also Weds night, Thursday night.
Note: Members only listing, Gigslist.org membership is free. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=682

Santa Monica, CA - Part Time Receptionist Paid Jobs
Small commercial post-production facility in Santa Monica looking to fill facility receptionist/concierge position. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=681

San Francisco - Casting Short Film - Multiple Roles Paid Jobs
Graduate Film Directors seeking actors for their next project. Duration: 6 Hours spread over 3 days, starts April 5 - Non-Union artist contracts http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=680

Baltimore/ Washington - Casting Menopause The Musical Paid Jobs
Equity Principle and understudy positions Seeking: Actresses who can sing and move well. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=679

Los Angeles - Casting for Daily Show Paid Jobs
Established production company casting for female lead for a unique and witty daily show. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=678

New York City - Casting for Korean / Japanese Web Drama Paid Jobs
Casting qactors for Korean / Japanese Web Drama . Duration: 13 days (Not Everyday) , starts March 25th. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=677

Sonoma CA - Location Scout Paid Jobs
Need location scouting for outdoor dance music video and dance art piece. Need about 5-6 locations in Northern CA. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=676

New Jersey - Part Time Photographer Paid Jobs
In this position, you must be friendly and have desire to work weekends. A car, internet and email are a must!! http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=675

Atlanta GA - Art Director/Senior Designer Paid Jobs
Seeking Art Director/Senior Designer, award-winning design and animation studio, high-end 2D / 3D design for television and advertising. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=674

New York - Administrative Employee Paid Jobs
New York Film Academy seeking an Administrative Employee whose main function will be establishing and maintaining contact with student candidates. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=673

Seattle WA - AV Tech Paid Jobs
National event staffing agency is looking for a basic Trade Show AV Tech http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=672

Manhattan NY - Freelance 3D Artist/Compositors Paid Jobs
Interviewing the following:3D Artists –Must know XSI, Maya and 3D Studio Max. Compositors - Must know Shake, Fusion and After Effects. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=671

LA, Miami, NYC - TV Crew Paid Jobs
New weekly national TV Magazine in Hebrew seeks local crews in multiple cities for 1-2 days of work per week for ongoing work starting in May. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=670

Nor Cal - MARCH 16,17,18,31 & 4/1 Female Model Jobs Paid Jobs
Affinity Models has Female Model Jobs in Northern California http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=669

Seeks position in the entertainment production sector Resumes
Objective:Secure a position in Entertainment Productionwhere I can utilize my professional skills to help bring creative projects to fruition. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=668

San Francisco, CA - Auditions/Short Narratives FreeJobs
Don't miss this amazing opportunity to audition for upwards of 20 short films - all LEADING ROLES. One easy on-camera casting session. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=667

Palo Alto, CA - Video Editor/HTML Paid Jobs
FriendFinder, Inc. seeking motivated individual with extensive experience in digital video editing and file preparation for web delivery. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=666

San Francisco, CA - Get Paid To Talk About Books Paid Jobs
We have found that people are interested what other people have to say about books; especially as it relates to you. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=665

Telecommute - Motion Graphics Designer/Animator Paid Jobs
Motion Graphics Designer: 2D or 3D AnimatorSan Jose, CA Portland, OR Seattle, WA http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=664

New Jersey - Directors, Musical Directors, and Choreographers Paid Jobs
The Theater Company at DeBaun Auditorium, located on the campus of Stevens Institute of Technology in Hoboken, New Jersey, is seeking http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=663

Thursday, March 15, 2007 Read full article: 'New Jersey - Directors, Musical Directors, and Choreographers'

New York, NY - Guitarists who Sing Paid Jobs
The New York Kids Club, with four Manhattan locations, is seeking Guitarists who Sing to perform during classes and class transitions.
http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=662

NYC - Female Dancers Paid Jobs
NYC's Dance Makers, Inc., non profit Dance Company seeking dancers of all ethnicities for upcoming performances at Theatre Three http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=661

Sarasota, FL - Intern Pianist Paid Jobs
Florida Studio Theatre, a professional Equity regional theatre, is seeking an intern pianist for the Theatre’s active Children’s program http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=660

Los Angeles CA - On Camera Assistant Paid Jobs
Prestigious On Camera division of major commercial agency seeks an assistant to three agents. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=659

Chicago IL - New Media coordinator Paid Jobs
Candidate would have extensive experience working with band websites, marketing, fan clubs, myspace, etc. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=658

Search is on for Happy Little Vegemites News
Kraft closer to identifying original Happy Little Vegemites after national call for the children who appeared in the iconic 1950s advertisement. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=657

Los Angeles CA - Actors for independent film Paid Jobs
The independent low-budget thriller Next To Die is shooting in June and July of this year. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=656

Nor Cal - Receptionist Paid Jobs
America's Premiere acting and modeling academy, John Robert Powers San Ramon is seeking an energetic and professional receptionist. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=655

Boyton Beach, FL - Light Board Op, Flyman, Deck Electrician, Stagehand Paid Jobs
New Vista Theatre Company seeking to fill out its crew for the final production in its premiere season. Also looking for load in help. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=654

Manheim, PA - Assistant Costumer Paid Jobs
Design Opportunity Possible - Pennsylvania Renaissance Faire is looking for someone to step up to the challenge. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=653

NYC - Stage Manager, Sound Person, Stage Hand FreeJobs
This is a Lesbian Comedy Variety Show.One show only on Saturday May 12. Would need a few rehearsals to learn cues. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=652

LA - Production Assistant/Driver Paid Jobs
HD, NYC-based series looking for LA Production Assistant to PA for 1-3 days for interviews March 19-21. Note: Members Only Listing - Gigslist.org membership is free http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=651

James Miller: Delays, Delays at REDCAT, Los Angeles, March 20th Events
James Miller Man and machine carry out a techno pas de deux performing delightfully inventive "short stories" for trombone and digital signal processor. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=650

SF Bay Area - Radio Reporters and Producers Needed Paid Jobs
Self contained magazine features reporting would be required - the series of 8-10 episodes would have a theme to link them. KQED/NPR and BBC http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=649

San Francisco CA - Production Coordinator for feature film Paid Jobs
Center for Asian American Media seeking Post Production Supervisor for SF-based independent digital feature by established Director. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=648

San Diego CA - Plus Models & Alternate Sizes FreeJobs
Seeking 3-5 Plus size and alternate models for fashion shoot for plus size and alternate sizes for a portfolio for several events this year http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=647

Lavallette NJ - Casting Summer Vaudeville & Children’s Story Time Paid Jobs
The Music Man is a unique family-style ice cream Shoppe where the cast/waiters (guys and gals) sing, dance and improv with the audience. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=646

Los Angeles CA - Multi-Media Producer - CBS Interactive Paid Jobs
Needed to edit and post clips on daily basis; shoot and edit special projects; confirm specification and legal clearance of all video materials. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=645

St. Louis MO - Motion Graphics Designer/Animator Paid Jobs
Technisonic, a broadcast production company, is seeking a motion graphics designer/animator for TV commercials. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=644

Studio City CA - Writer/Producer Paid Jobs
Write, produce and direct documentary on Outer Space.Must have documentary experience and be able to start immediately. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=643

New York NY - Supervising Producer for Reality Competition Paid Jobs
Creative and organized NY based Supervising Producer needed for two reality competition food/cooking pilots for popular cable TV networks. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=642

Rohan de Saram at REDCAT, Los Angeles, March 16th at 8:30 p.m. Events
Rohan de Saram plays Carter, Xenakis, Berio, Reynolds, and Schubert "Rohan de Saram is a cello phenomenon, one of the greatest of our time." Kölnische Rundshau http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=641
Englewood, NJ - Costumed Characters for Benefit Paid Jobs
2 actors to be in rabbit costumes for March Madness Benefit for the Boarder Babies and Adoption programs for Children's Aid and Family Services. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=640

Bellport, NY - Associate Casting/Artistic Director Paid Jobs
Seeking talented individual to provide support to the Artistic Office and assist Gateway Playhouse Artistic Director in all creative endeavors. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=639

Irving TX - Traffic Assistant - Fox Networks Paid Jobs
The Traffic Assistant is responsible for inputting orders for national and local commercial material. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=638

Telecommute - 3d Animator Paid Jobs
We are Handling 3D Animation projects (Television Series) for Various International clients. We are in lookout for 3d Animators and 3d Artistes. http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=637

Phoenix AZ - Reality TV Writer/Producer Paid Jobs
Looking for writer/producer for major cable network reality show. Demonstrated creative storytelling and ability to direct and supervise http://www.gigslist.org/index.php?name=News&file=article&sid=636

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posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 0 replies

How to submit a manuscript (x-posted)

2007-03-22T11:54:23Z

This is just too funny...

http://www.sfwa.org/writing/howto.htm

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 1 reply

Afghanistan

2006-07-28T11:24:33Z

I am a writer working in Afghanistan. . . Any one in the area? today I am in Kyrgyzstan, but should be at Bagram tomorrow.

http://www.hometownlife.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20051124/NEWS06/511240303/1023

http://sun-herald.com/NewsArchive2/112105/tp4ch1.htm?date=112105&story=tp4ch1.htm

http://www.pahrumpvalleytimes.com/2005/11/04/news/guard.html

http://www.pahrumpvalleytimes.com/2005/11/04/news/cyr.html

http://www.sabawoon.com/read.asp?cat=1&ViewNews=1&newsdate=

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 4 replies

NEW TRIBE !

2006-07-24T18:04:07Z

Members of QUEER BENT and LUMIBRIDGE are coming together to form a new tribe dedicated to discussing (wrestling with or arguing) with a sacred text or part of one each week. This tribe will be oriented toward people from different backgrounds coming together to discuss their insights and know each other better as opposed to beating each other over the head with their own religious ideas. It could be exciting. Is anyone interested?

--Chris

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 0 replies

A Piece from Angus

2006-07-05T20:38:29Z

Here's one of mine. Hasn't found a home yet.....

The Things We Did

What goes on in your neighborhood recreation center after hours? You'd be surprised. Consider this: I spent a couple of nights recently performing intimate acts upon a life-sized doll in front of a room full of strangers. When I was done I sat down and somebody else rose to take my place. In this way we all got a turn with her. We even paid money for the opportunity. And I'm here to tell you friends and neighbors that I did it and I'm proud that I did it.

Her name was Annie. Resusci-Annie they called her. She wasn't much to look at, but she has helped start more hearts than candy, flowers, Cupid, and tequila combined. Yes folks, C.P.R. classes are going on right in your neighborhood!

Here is what happens, in graphic, uncensored detail: In six hours, over two nights, you'll be lectured by a grinning instructor (the smile comes from knowing what you will soon be doing), write down a lot of numbers (because nobody like a heart attack victim blown up like a balloon), aggressively kiss an immobile, unspeaking mannequin (no worse than a blind date really), take a test (#31: Can victim speak? Can victim use mouthwash?) and get a nifty membership card at the end (no discounts at amusement parks alas). Wear comfortable clothes. Bring a pen, a kiss, and your humility.
My group was taught by an emergency room intern, and no job will give you a more ghoulish database from which to elucidate. So along with the movements and numbers we learned some things about lacerations, blood, boogers, vomit, severed limbs, electrocution, and something horrible called a "fingersweep". I can't say that all of this lightened up the class any, but it did make us very attentive, so maybe there's something to that.

The most important thing we learned was this: You're going to screw it up. You may ace it with Annie, but 6 years from now, when some doghouse-shaped person looks up from his burger and fries and realizes that his pulse has taken the afternoon off, when he does a quick bossa nova and sinks slowly to the linoleum like a Madonna video, when you finally get a chance to ventilate and compress! - you'll blow it. Time and adrenalin will conspire to turn you into an Irish Setter.

So the first thing you do is get someone to call 911. Then you lay them down, tilt their head back and try to remember some of the moves. In reality though your job is to not kill them until the pros arrive. 90 minutes of foreplay with resusci-annie will not enable you to cheat Death. But perhaps you'll be able to annoy Death long enough.

Besides our own inevitable ineptitude we learned other things:

-Practicing the Heimlich maneuver is a novel way of meeting people. -Imagining an artery slowly filling up with fat until your blood decides to just pull over for the night is a great way to start choosing salads. -You can find a pulse just below your ear, below the bicep, on the top of your foot, or seemingly anywhere your hand drops. Its a very vulnerable feeling. -Performing the Heimlich on a child will cause the child to turn inside out. Instead turn the kid over and whap it, like your cleaning the toaster.
I took the class because of guilt; simple as that. Picture a loved one, or any human being (or animal) dying and knowing that you might've been able to save them, Ick. I'll pay $20.00 to shut my conscience up.

Also, you might just be a hero. Fancy that: pictures in the papers, interviews, cheers, parades, perhaps a cash 'thank you', attractive people wanting to ventilate you and have you compress them...
Among those who were there those dark nights in the Rec. Center there is now the silent camaraderie of group embarrassment. After all, we basically were playing Barbies. Now we nod slowly to one another in crowds. We exchange shy smiles across intersections. We do our two-fingers-below-the-ear salute as we pass on the mall. We are invisible, but we are everywhere.

With ourselves we are proud. The world may not understand us or the things we did those nights, but sometime, somewhere, if your heart suddenly hangs out a 'for rent' sign, you'll probably be glad we were there.

Angus McMahan
vesica@cruzio.com

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 0 replies

Book Proposals

2006-07-03T15:23:22Z

I'm attempting to write a project proposal for a book/documentary.
Does anyone have any tips or URL's that might help?
This really needs to be kick ass....
Thanks in advance
cam

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 6 replies

Essay: The Needle as the Pen of Self

2005-11-25T23:16:13Z

Comments requested.

“The feeling of helplessness you are experiencing,” said The Fitz, “will probably only increase.”

The Fitz’s face swings upside down into my field of view, below meadow level — roots of clover and daisies between us. “I usually pick something in my field of view,” he suggests, “and try to light it on fire with my mind. It doesn’t make it hurt less, but it gives you something to do.”

continued. . .
http://www.nowhereville.org/archives/000261.html

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 0 replies

need advice: best digital voice recorder?

2005-10-02T21:21:45Z

Hi everyone!

i'm looking to ditch my old microcassette recorder and go digital for doing interviews, but I'm perplexed by what's out there.

i bought an olympus digital recorder but it sucked so I returned it. i tried using an ipod which was way better but it was sorta clumsy so I'm not convinced that's the way to go either. i don't want to use minidiscs or DAT, because i'm trying to get away from having storage media littering up my life.

what do you use? the perfect thing must be out there somewhere...

Thanks!

~t~

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 1 reply

mythopoetic Hunter Thompson eulogy

2005-02-24T20:32:04Z

http://mythicliving.chaosmagic.com/photo4.html

REQUIM FOR HUNTER S. THOMPSON
Fear & Loathing in the Limbic System

By Iona Miller, 2/2005

“Alas, poor Hunter; who knew him well?”
The natural philosopher sees death not only from
the viewpoint of life but through the sockets of the skull.

“Because suicide is a way of entering death and because the problem of entering death releases the most profound fantasies of the human soul, to understand a suicide we need to know what mythic fantasy is being enacted.” ~ James Hillman, Suicide and the Soul

Suicide and the Soul

THERE IS ROOM AT THE TOP. The peak position of the falsely so-called “liberal” press has been abdicated by king-of-the-hill gonzo journalist, Hunter S. Thompson, who has gone out the way he came in – with a bang.

Hunter had seemingly, at least in the opinion of some, engaged early on in potentially suicidal drug use, but in the end he abandoned that arc for the certain and permanent trajectory of a bullet. His consciousness must have winked out through the deeply bored black hole. Did he finally reach escape velocity beyond the event horizon?

But is this a fitting end for “our” story of this hunter whose journalistic lens was larger than life? The mercurial Thompson was a whistleblower for shadow government shenanigans long before “conspiracy theory” took on cult proportions because so much of it has proven frighteningly true. Along with the rest of the underground press, such as Mother Jones, he offered a psychedelicized vision that was more than “credible.” His point of view was intuitive and intrusive, infused with his imaginal point of view ~ “in-credible.”

In suicides, everyone always asks “Why?” Surprisingly, people asked me ‘why?’ as if your humble narrator could possibly know, or perform a psychological autopsy. We are virtually helpless at understanding and articulating our own inner lives, much less anyone else’s. This amplification has a ritualistic aspect, because we start off knowing that we cannot know.

Our limbic system, which determines how actively we engage the environment, is conditioned by our early developmental history. The amygdala, the seat of “fear and loathing”, our emotional sentinel, is calibrated by subjective perception of what it is like to be in the world, safe or toxic. Was his trajectory set as a child? [See endnote.]

Why? Is at the root of all natural philosophy and even Plato implied in Phaedo that philosophy is essentially the pursuit of death and dying. When we ask about death we begin to practice philosophy, the study of dying. Plato called philosophy death’s rehearsal, dying to the world. One approaches death by dying in soul daily for renewal. We die to our illusions of invulnerability and immortality. Our modern manic busyness is arguably a defense against this very thought of death.

I began to wonder about Thompson’s death, though as a therapist and philosopher, I have learned not to question such choices. It doesn’t mean we ignore them either as Freud’s obsessions with Eros and Thanatos show. Suicide is a choice some souls make. The question is not ‘why?’ but ‘what is the relevance to the soul?’ Confirmation, rather than prevention, is the soul’s goal. Hunter’s behavior rarely conformed; why should it in death?

James Hillman says that, “Living in terms of life’s only certain end means to live aimed toward death. This end is present here and now as the purpose of life, which means the moment of death – at any moment – is every moment. Death cannot be put off to the future and reserved for old age.” Freud taught that Thanatos is ever-present. Castaneda claimed it as ally. The soul needs death and death resides in the soul permanently.

Hunter’s outer suicidal behavior may have been typical of men of his caliber [no pun intended], but its inner meaning is likely as complex as this pathfinder man. Thompson’s friends have given many answers on “Why?” and raised as many questions. I have not read them yet, though it seems his health was deteriorating. But what does this say of psychological health, if anything? Burnout? Flame out? If you were Hunter watching the end of the era of democratic revolutions and the entrenchment of brainwashing corporate feudalism, wouldn’t you feel depressed, too?

One thing is clear – this was no mere dramatic plea for help. He declared his narrative to be tragedy in no uncertain terms, perhaps raising his personal tale to mythic from merely iconic domains. Or, is the tragic attribution a social label only? Did he engage in some confused suicidal logic before taking final action? Do we painfully wonder what, if anything, could cause us to make the same choice? What experience, what suffering?

Somewhere between despair and hopelessness, the dark call of suicidal thoughts can raise its icy voice. “End it all now.” “Stop the pain, forever.” Clinically, we become alarmed when an individual has a well-conceived plan, or is appearing to become a threat to themselves or others. Existentially, suicide is about experiencing unbearable suffering, a problem on the inside with no other acceptable solution outside.

Suicide is a psychological fact. But the issue is not for or against suicide, but the realization that it has meaning for the soul. James Joyce called suicide a “psychosemantic fallacy.” The psychosomatic nature of the soul is a riddle. Look at the word: suicIDe - Freud’s id or primitive instinct rears its primordial head. We more often are lived by than live our myth, which is beyond personal motivation.

Myths mirror what may be ‘wrong’ but necessary. Process is not always progress. The soul needs the death experience, whether through depression, collapse, degeneration, trance, isolation, intoxication, exaltation, failure, psychosis, dissociation, amnesia, denial, pain and torture, or transformation. They can be symbolic or concretely enacted. Now Hunter is firmly grounded. At the end, the legend became most human through the common denominator of pain.

Some might feel that ‘soul’ is too metaphysical or romantic of a term to apply to Thompson. Perhaps, sadly he has qualified, but substitute ‘psyche’ if it is more comfortable. Suicide is an active demonstration of independence from society, law, spirituality, and the life of the body. In this case, a meaning that can no more be denied than Death.

The soul has its own radically independent reality, a satiation with all mere life has offered, an exhaustion of possibilities. Did declaring Abby Hoffman’s suicide “bipolar” explain it away? Ultimately, does ‘why?’ even matter? The answer is just what turns the suicidal person into “anti-matter,” no matter what the means. It no longer matters; you no longer matter. Death can be chosen.

The Mythic Edge

The suicidal crisis takes place as the experience of death, the archetypal background of death is met in the soul, its meanings, images and emotions ~ its meaning to psychic life. Death is the soul’s first concern. From the moment we are born we continuously enter death as death inexorably penetrates us. The transforming soul lives by perishing, and there is purpose even in pathology.

Death is always meaningful. The meaning of the choice is different for each individual and the circumstances. Most often suicides’ misgivings about further life are never spoken; they never emerge from the hellish bowels of the psychophysical pain of a continuosly-tormented soul that can no longer scream. When it comes to ending life, the health of the soul is as important as the health or lack of it of the body. Can we get inside the problem to understand its meaning?

The root metaphor of suicidal injunction goes back to “Thou shalt not kill”. But at this point legal and theological musings have tunneled out of view. Theology dreads suicide since it feels our own lives are not ours to take, so it is a monstrous pride. But how could that be the case under the distorting existential lens of say, clinical depression, crippling drug abuse, or sociopathy. Death by suicide eliminates the possibility of repentance.

But do we have to repent? Perhaps death is simply death – fade to black, turn into compost. My state, Oregon has a ‘right to death’ law, which allows the terminally ill to die with dignity and some choice in their timing vs. pain management. When it becomes too much, they can opt for a medical solution with the aid of an M.D.

It is to the individual soul that we must resort for the justification of a suicide. Who is to say that in illness, for example, the heroic route to the bitter end is the only obvious choice? Does it violate the hierarchy of the promotion of life? Or will life go on merrily, anyway? However, suicide does violate the root metaphors of society, law, church, and life. Life is lodged in the soul.

Is promoting life the same as prolonging life, as it has come to be in our culture? I recall a conversation I had in his 90s with American master artist, Morris Graves. When the painter’s heart failed, everyone insisted he get a pacemaker, but he bemoaned its relentless pile-driving beat, beating the life both into and out of him the rest of his days.

Long before his last breath, Graves was ready to make a transition to a more metaphysical state. He had expressed that rarified world in his work and often spoke of its deep meaning to him. When psychic growth stops, we are essentially dead. Death had become an old friend. One often sees that in older people. They don’t want to leave their families but are ready to part with the skin bag. Death will not be denied and medicine cannot cure it.

The Mything Link

In suicide, we must look to the complex context of the situation and presume most of it is internal and shall remain opaque. An analyst would compare the state of his conscious mind at the time with the pressures and drives of the objective unconscious – the archetypal substructure of behavior. Experience, suffering and context conspire to weave a shroud around the soul whose time is up, whose personal thread has run out. That life is wrapped up.

Hillman says, “Philosophy would tell us that we build towards death from day to day. We build each our own ‘ship of death’ within ourselves. From this standpoint, by making our own deaths we are killing ourselves daily, so that each death is a suicide. Whether from a lion, a precipice, or a fever, each death is of our own making. …In this view suicide is no longer one of the ways of entering death, but all death is suicide, and the choice of method is only more or less evident, whether car-crash, heart-attack, or those acts usually called suicide.”

Rather than an anti-life impulse, “it may be a demand for an encounter with absolute reality, a demand for a fuller life through the death experience.” Without “fear and loathing”, the automatic gut and limbic system reaction, suicide would become ‘natural’. The taboo is there because it is a possibility, a choice for each psyche. Death is important to individuality, and as that individuality grows so often does the possibility of suicide.

We can’t say Hunter was either ‘soulful’ or ‘soulless’. The roots of individuality are not only in neurological correlates, but also in pathologies. Individuality requires courage, and has always been invoked in suicidal arguments – the courage to not be. As a somewhat shamanic character, leading us into weird initiations, he always stood against the collective stream bidding us find our own individuality.

Some would have considered his addictive lifestyle a death wish, and him a dead man walking. Some are driven to suicide, hounded by it, drawn to it by dead loved ones or mystical visions. But here we are, pondering his particular fate. The real courage is to choose oneself, one’s individual truth.

He certainly brought meaning to his times in a rather kaleidoscopic way. Was he done searching our collective souls? Searching his soul? The creatively gifted, psychologically sensitive and schizoid may be more keenly aware of their own evil, their own shadow sides. Society mirrored this back to Thompson, and his persona transcended his message, much like the media stars of today. But, organic death doesn’t undo the fundamental accomplishments of the soul.

He was far more interesting himself than any one of his stories. Had he endured too much loss or emptiness; had he entered an existential vacuum, lost his guiding star, had life become a cage of commitments, were his nights sleepless, had he tired of what comes next? Paradoxically, suicidal thoughts reawaken intense emotion, fantasy and dreams of mythological destiny and the transpersonal. Is it a cure for chronic identification of the soul with outer events, places, and people?

Was he a wee bit bipolar, compulsive, ‘possessed’ ‘troubled’, ‘lost’ or simply already ‘immortal’? What we do know is that he lived full bore, he wasn’t one, and he was unique. If that bored chamber got him in the end, it is lucky that he didn’t climb down its throat!

If he ever spoke to your soul, reflect on that participation. Make peace with it in your own way. Understanding is an individual, not collective phenomenon. Life and death go together, and are defined by one another. The soul endures many death experiences yet physical life goes on.

The soul favors death to usher in change, and the old self image dies in every phase of growth and transformation. Viewed this way, even a suicidal impulse can be seen as a drive for transformation, perhaps of a delayed life, which did not transform as it went along. It is an urge for hasty transformation, an experimental attempt to breakthrough forcibly into another realm. Death is continuous, the final truth, the end of desire.

Is the soul perishable is a question best left to others. The soul of depth psychology and philosophy is not the soul of theology. His last secret will never be told, since secrets belong to the soul. Did Thompson perish with his body – his throbbing visibility? If he did, he left his lifeblood as our legacy in his dried ink. Have a heart for this lonely Hunter.

Endnote:

Fear Factor: We all have fears, but some of us experience periods of time when we feel overwhelmed by either vague or specific fears and anxieties. The autonomic system is regulated by emotions as well as thoughts, not to mention the fight/flight responses of sympathetic arousal. One of our greatest burdens is the paradox of life/death. Once the struggle of a suicidal crisis is resolved in the choice for death, a profound calm settles over the person. The soul has preceded the physical body into death.

Among all the upsetting notions humans can experience, perhaps the fear of death is at the top of the list. Our mortality is a difficult prospect to contemplate; yet the evidence clearly surrounds us. Death always stands at the ready or rides piggyback with us, ready to be our advisor, whispering in our ear, making its presence known. Even denial cannot keep the natural foreboding at bay.

Confrontations with death aroused superstitious and spiritual feelings in our ancient ancestors that led from increasingly elaborate burial procedures, to shamanic practices to assuage unknown powers, and eventually to the growth of the world’s major religions with their notions of finer planes of existence and the varieties of afterlife.

Coupled with powerful experiential episodes, such as mystic transport with and without shamanic plants, near-death experiences and grave illness, strong beliefs arose within the heart of humanity. They were shared with others becoming fixed ideas, philosophies and organized religions. Historically, perhaps more wars have been fought over competing ideologies than over territory.

Fear of death or powerful subjective experiences can also lead to idiosyncratic spiritual ideas and practices. Again neural networks come into play as the bases of memory, pain, coping, and creativity.

The focus sharpens when one loses self-esteem and self-identity through loss of confidence and “control” in the performance of the body or perceptions of the mind. This can create a strong sense of conviction, destiny, fate or even mission, which will be aggressively defended.

The temporal lobe plays a key role in emotional stability. It interprets and integrates input to give it meaning, in the deeply emotional rather than intellectual sense. Of course not every unusual experience, religious impulse, or bright idea comes from faulty electrical action and cascading seizures, or they would lose all meaning.

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 1 reply

Community Journalism

2005-01-28T03:34:15Z

Community journalism - the kind that tells people what their city councils and state governments are doing, the kind that affects change at the local, dare I say grassroots, level - seems the most overlooked part of the media in the U.S. But what would happen if newspapers stopped writing about local political races, land use policies, development projects, etc? Here's what: communities would lose control of their governments and hence their choices about quality of life, education, public services.... Why, then, in the vilification of the Media that takes place in this country do poeple not defend community journalism?

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 4 replies

Need some help w/ fundraising letters

2004-12-04T23:48:43Z

Howdy all.
I am NOT a writer, hence the reason I'm posting here.
I need some help writing a short fundraising letter.
I also cannot for the life of me, see how to post my request under the "listings" section instead of here on the discussion board.
I'd like a simple letter to send to a cpl major corps to help save what we can of the Apacheland Movie Ranch in Arizona before the developer's bulldozers transform it into yet another housing development. We can't stop the dozers, but we have about 5 months to save whatever buildings we can, board by board, and relocate them to museum grounds. This movie set was used for many TV shows, movies, and commercials. Including The Rifleman, Charro and others. I'd like to send letters to ABC, Disney (who owns ABC) and some other corps who have used the locale for their projects, asking for whatever monetary assistance we can get.
A google search for Apacheland, Rifleman, Charro, Elvis, etc. will show you what I'm talking about.
Anybody??
Pleeeaaasseeeeeee??!!
tips, ideas, help with tribe "Listings"..etc.
Thanks!
Rat

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 0 replies

Could not be reached for comment

2004-11-21T21:55:54Z

What, do these sources not have cell phones or email?

Why is this phrase still in use?

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 3 replies

New Portland, OR Writers Group

2004-11-21T06:23:40Z

There is a new Portland, Oregon Writers Group forming. I am helping to organize this and my goal is to try and create an enviornemnt that has good chemistry, fuflfills the needs of the members, and has a dedicated following.

I have an MFA in Ctreative Writing and enjoy working with writers to inspire, critique and motivate. I have been neglecting my own writing needs and have gotten caught up in my "day job". My goal is to form a serious (yet playful) writers group that allows us to inspire and motivate each other to follow our dreams.

The writer's group will be geared towards:

All genre's of writing including fiction, creative non-fiction, journalism and poetry. (No technical writiing)

Emphasis on goal setting and motivation. This doesn't neccessarily mean having to get published, but does mean that we set goals and try to reach them, no matter how big or how small.

Tribe me at my personal tribe site if you are interested. I am looking to "cap" this group off at ten members.

ZigZag

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 1 reply

Writers Needed

2004-10-12T23:05:49Z

I would like to let you know about a new service that connects employers with freelance professionals.

www.ContractedWeb.com is a new service that connects project owners with freelancers from around the world.

Those looking for work to be completed post projects for free, review bids and select the right freelancer for a job. Freelance Professionals post bids for free, create online portfolios to showcase work as well as a list of many other features.

I hope that you find www.ContractedWeb.com as useful as many others have.

If you have any questions please let me know.

-Peter Ferrigan
www.ContractedWeb.com

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 0 replies

Fray.com

2004-10-08T00:00:22Z

Hi all-
I just wanted to share one of my favorite writing sites with you: Fray.com [http://www.fray.com]
People submit autobiographical stories, and every month or so, Fray features a story and pairs it with great illustrations/graphics/photos.

Submissions must be told in first person and they must be TRUE. Its a great site to wander through- or consider contributing to...

In the fall, they hold Fray Day events where authors can read their own works. I'm hoping to go to the SF Fray Day this year, since I don't think we could pull it off in Sacramento... or maybe we could...hmmm...

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 2 replies

NEWSPAPER FREELANCING

2004-10-03T18:16:56Z

OK, fellow writers, I would appreciate some advice/help with getting my work into the local newspaper. I've been in contact with the managing editor, both by email and phone. First I sent him my resume and an offer to submit some pieces for consideration to the assistant editor. Then I sent my resume AND some pieces to her. She apparently gave these to the editor after leaving them lie around for a month or so. Meanwhile, I emailed the editor a letter saying I had heard from a former freelancer that they were in NEED of writers, and would he like to see some of my stuff? FINALLY, he called and said I could submit ideas to him in any of several categories, which I did (2 lifestyle pieces). Now it's been more than a week with no response. <sigh> Meanwhile, today they published a story from a high school intern on the bottom of C1. Who has ideas/tricks/advice I can use on these slow-*ss newspaper guys?! I'm about at the end of my rope.

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 0 replies

Hello

2004-10-02T02:10:00Z

Holy messiah,
There are a bunch of members here.
What kind of writing does everybody do?

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 14 replies

Editor and Publisher

2004-08-06T22:14:41Z

I have been doing some research, but does anyone have any advice about finding an editor or publisher if you are a first time writer?

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 0 replies

Learning to Be

2004-08-05T19:41:32Z

Learning To Be

I believe education is more of a voyage than a process. It is embarked upon with goals in mind but characterized better by the journey than the destination. Along the road, any traveler meets and deals with the unexpected. Those are the things most memorable and most educational. I experienced the "travel bug" at an early age, on a vacation with many moments that would come to define elements of who I am today.

My first glimpse of the world at large - beyond images brought daily by Captain Kangaroo, Grandmother's soaps, and Walter Cronkite's evening news - came when Mom decided to release me at age five into the care of my grandparents and my aunt and uncle. I was in their care for three months of summer travel. We caravanned back and forth across the Mississippi River, heading south toward Texas. Along with siteseeing and stops in every state along the way, there was a planned midsummer rendezvous with old Texan friends of the family. We would continue west from their home for a retreat at their summer ranch on Lake Conchas in New Mexico.

The journey south was interminably long, punctuated by brief moments of awe upon my first view of marvels such as the Mississippi Bridge and the St. Louis arch. I recall the joy of searching gift shops for the sticker of the latest state we'd entered, to be proudly adhered to my suitcase. To this day, whenever I hear Arizona mentioned, my first mental image is of a desert cactus illustrated in cartoon relief behind large, western-style red letters, with a roadrunner outracing tumbleweeds in the foreground. Later as a result of this trip, I had a slight edge in elementary school when it came to learning states, their capitals, and their mottos. Many were concrete places to me, and those I had not visited were more easily imagined within the context of my experience.

The historic sites that I was too young to appreciate, with their statues and plaques, fade in the distance of time's passage, but there are other impressions I vividly recall that will continue to endure. During the journey south, we alternated our days in roadside motels with stays in KOA campgrounds, state parks, and rest stops. As a precocious and outgoing child, I loved wandering these places and introducing myself to other traveling children and their parents.

It was 1971, and there was not the sense of paranoia that people have about children today. I was frequently welcomed to lunch or supper at a picnic table or in a recreational vehicle and discovered, for the first time in my life, what a wealth of diversity exists in racial types, regional dialects, and the foods people eat.

My first memory of polenta was from a meal with some Hispanic-Americans. They were amused when I tried and failed repeatedly to roll my Rs. One morning, I tried marmalade with some New Englanders while enjoying my first brunch. Another afternoon, I experienced my first watermelon seed-spitting contest after feasting on fried chicken and sweet potatoes with an African-American family (my grandparents were still calling them negroes in that era). Looking back, I see the irony of encountering such stereotypes in a state of young, blissful obliviousness. The sheer positive impact of those memories has held sway over any negativity racists have since attempted to convey to me through stereotyping.

I trooped around campgrounds and rest stops like a little journalist and introduced myself, asking adults, "What do you do for a living?" I learned how to use a road atlas to identify states, and carried it with me to ask, "Can you show me in here where you are from and where you are going?" Of course, if they seemed amiable and I noticed preparations being made, I'd get around to asking, "What are you having to eat?" It worked like a charm.

It wasn't long before I was scanning each layover's locale for whoever stood out as most different from those types I'd already encountered. Occasionally, I'd get scolded for losing track of time and making my family come looking for me. Overall, I developed my first sense of two things: the diversity of cultures and the basic goodness of folk.

Lake Conchas, with its sixty miles of shoreline, was almost too large to see across. I often pretended it was the ocean, nearly believing it to be true. I played along its beach for a few weeks, tagging along with a pack of other summer vacationers' children, most who knew each other from past seasons. As the youngest of a group of kids ranging in age from five to thirteen, I was exposed to my first experiences with hierarchy among piers.

The oldest boy, Butch, smoked when he could filch his father's cigarettes, but only when we were safely away from adults. He chose whether the group went running in the dunes, wading at the shore's edge, setting off firecrackers, or climbing on the occasional beached, derelict boat. I was disappointed to learn that I had no status to influence these decisions. I hung out with them less, using my recently acquired knowledge of the land's lay to make my own way for the rest of the stay.

Our trek's terminus, the Grand Canyon, seemed more immense than anything. Over and over on this trip, I had been assailed by the enormity of the world around me. Just when I would think I'd grasped its scope, something new and bigger trumped my understanding. I felt both miniscule and gigantic at the same time. I'll never forget the mixed feelings of awe and empowerment I felt looking upon that miracle of nature.

Once we started heading back, I realized just how far we had to go, and homesickness soon set in with full force. The journey home was through places we had already visited. I had an idea of what was around each corner, and everything seemed less interesting. The knowledge that the people, places, and things I had enjoyed were being left behind only made me hunger more for the face of my mother and the comforts of home. It was this homecoming that taught me the value of the familiar and the secure.

I remember being overwhelmed again by the sight of Mom and the feel of her almost-forgotten embrace; it was something old that felt new. At the time, I didn't think about how hard it must have been for her to be without me. I know now that through letting go, she had enabled my grandparents and my aunt and uncle to teach me things I could have learned no other way. I owe them all such gratitude.

Later journeys led to other lessons, and later lessons led to other journeys. However, that voyage created my first awareness of the vast world existing outside my previously self-absorbed child's mind. Though I have scattered recollections from before that summer, my first sustained and connected memories are of that long, meandering adventure. It truly awakened my being to life.

Copyright 2003 by Michael D. Woodall
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 4 replies

My story.

2004-07-02T04:55:34Z

‘If you’re thinking of me’

for Marion Baxter

If you’re thinking of me, you’ve got to let me know.
This loneliness seems such a waste,
I can’t stop feeling low.
- Dodgy

It was the telephone call that everybody dreads. The call that changes your life irrevocably.

Durban, South Africa. 22 July 2002, 7am.

I was 27 and fast asleep, flat on my face when the mobile phone began to beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Imagine if I hadn’t answered it. I would have had maybe a few more hours, maybe a day, of the life before. The life I had known. But not knowing that this was the call, the big one, I reached out blearily and picked up the cell phone.

“…Hello?”
There was a silence, a breath or two, then, shakily
“G, it’s me. G…mom died last night.”
I went cold but did not assimilate the words. Had I heard right? Was I dreaming? It was only a moment, that sentence, maybe I had heard wrong.
All I could say, stupidly, like some B-grade soap actor, was
“What do you mean? What do you mean?”

Even as I finished the question, I felt my knees folding, and I sank slowly onto the floor of my bedroom, not seeing. My eyes began to water, then tears just fell from them and streamed down, and my heart was fluttering. I felt so cold; it was a feeling I had never felt before. A dread. I could hear my little brother, my baby brother, all of 20 years old, crying and shaking on the other end. My brother hated phones, he never phoned anyone.

He hated them. For a long time, we both just cried, not talking, then I tried to gather something of myself. I heard my stepfather on the line, my brother’s dad.
He told me what had happened, something about how mom had been put in the hospital because she had had flu for a week. This was why I hadn’t been able to reach her all week. Her chemotherapy treatment had ended about three months before, but her immune system must have been very weak.

She had gotten up in the night to go to the bathroom, and I think, I think (it is still hazy to me) she had suffered a heart attack in that time that she was out of the bed. Her heart had been weakened by the virus, by the aggressive advanced breast cancer or the chemo, or all three, but there it was: she had died. It would be about another six months before this actually sank into my mind.

“Rick”, I said to my brother’s father, “I will be there as soon as I can.” “There’ was halfway across the country, in Grahamstown, where mom lived. Had lived. I thought feverishly, robotically, I must tell my dad. I must tell work. Get leave. Book flights. I must go now.
I phoned my father and cried some more. He had been married to my mother once long ago. I could tell how he was hurting too and I loved him fiercely.

After that I don’t remember too much. Being at work, white as a sheet, my mouth dry, telling my boss what had happened as people looked at me with hooded eyes. People I had hardly spoken to before hugged me. I organized some leave – ‘as long as you need’ – I went home, I packed up, and I phoned a friend who’s father had died some years ago.
Though I felt a world of compassion all around me, I felt so alone that day. My mum had been the person most like me in the world. I looked like her. I had the same eyes. I was eccentric like her, and chaotic like her.

I cried wretchedly, not wanting to ever stop, my face buried in my stupid ratty duvet. Later I left the flat and drove to my father’s house.
He booked flights. He phoned people. He talked to my stepfather. I trembled a lot and felt my eyes like broken mirrors. I felt so painful I could barely speak to anybody. They were in one world, and I was in another world.
I just wanted my mother.

I had last seen mom about three weeks before I got the call.
She had looked well. Her hair had grown back somewhat and though she still got tired and slept for a long time in the afternoons and would get up in the night often and make pained noises in the quiet of the kitchen, she had seemed to be recovering. She had looked so beautiful, my mom, as I hugged her goodbye on the last day I would ever see her.

Her burnished bronze earrings (tatty old hippie ones from San Fransisco, that were her favourite) had jangled in the breeze. She had hugged me to her fiercely and I had smelled her hair, that mum-smell that I knew about as well as anything in the world. I was happy that day, because mom was through the horror of the chemo. She had goddamn done it, all that wretched awful time. The hair loss. The vomiting. The tiredness. The pain. Oh - of course she also had had a mastectomy. The left breast. Was it the left? How can I forget that? They had done it very soon after the diagnosis of an aggressive tumour which had spread to the lymph glands and who knew where else from there.

She wore some sort of filler in her bra, to hide the empty space where a part of her body had been. Sometimes she would forget to wear it, or forget to wear her wig, or she would choose not to wear them, and she would walk in the town, or on the beach, her situation clearly apparent.

She would go swimming in the sea and splash around in the shallows. She had a huge fear of water brought on by some experience with her father long ago. Some cruel thing he had put her through. So she would wade and splash and splutter and it was pretty comical. I always used to say, back when I was younger,
“Ma….” And blush fiercely at my bizarre mother and her clumsy splishings and splashings, as I tried to look manly and cool for the girls on the beach, who I thought I loved when I was 16, as you do.
But later, after the cancer, it wasn’t comical and I would fiercely admire my mother for swimming and not covering up her situation and just doing like she always used to do.

Anyway, on that last day I was ever to see her, alive that is, she had hugged me three times, and had said something to me, I don’t even remember what, something that made me sad and miss her already as I drove away and waved at the diminishing specks of her and my brother in my rear window.

A few weeks before that day, I remember we had been sitting in a pub inland somewhere, having a beer. My mom loved (I’m not going to keep saying ‘had loved’ or anything, it’s just too clumsy. Bear with me, OK, some of this will be clunky) her Amstel Lager, and drank after the cancer – all this ‘before’ and ‘after’…that’s how it becomes, how you think – though her doctor had told her alcohol would not be good for her.

So there we were in this English – style pub, my brother on the phone to his girlfriend in Cape Town, one of those long involved, hushed conversations young kids have with their lovers – and some poetry circle friends of my mom’s…some Irish guy who I liked, and the gay chap who ran the gift shop, who was very cool…there we all were, and during a lull in the chatter, my mom looked at me strangely and she said:
“If anything happens to me, I want you to make sure your brother is going to be OK. Promise me, G.”
I was gobsmacked and spluttered, “Mom, don’t be silly, nothing is going to happen to you for a long time.”
I was scared, really, to be honest. How could she talk like that?
I was a bit drunk and anyway, I did promise, of course.
Whatever she wanted, at that time, I would have done. We sat then, and listened to an incongruous happy Summer song on the pub’s sound system – “It’s such a rush just being with you, baby, driving in the rush hour…”
– and I drank my beer and looked at mom and tried to hold a smile.

thanks 4 reading.

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 1 reply

How much should I charge?

2004-05-28T20:48:14Z

Hi Writesters:

I'm new to the tribe. Thanks for being here.

Situation:

I have a meeting Friday with a couple of business consultants, who are looking for a ghost writer for their book. This will our first meeting, in which I learn about the size, scope and vision of their project. They will probably press me for "how much is it gonna cost," and "What do you charge."

I'm a very versatile technical writer about to hang my shingle as a business writer/corporate communications consultant. I know my time to be worth $50/hour. I will be needing work, and doubt that these guys can pay $50/hour for me to write their book. Certainly I can fudge on the price, considering the length of time it will take to complete a book of any scope.

Question: How should I structure my rate for a gig like this? What should I charge? I'm open to ideas.

Thank you all!

Al

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 3 replies

my goal

2004-05-26T17:26:42Z

i've found that as i write, sometimes intense emotions arise and i deal w/ it by not writing. only thing is i won't write for a week or so. since it's summer, i'm not overly preoccupied w/ school, i have time to write and i really wanted to utilize it. so to help myself, i decided earlier this week that in the morning, i'm going to write for an hour. breakfast comes after. shower comes after. the rest of life comes after. but this keeps me going towards my goal and also starts my day off on the right foot.

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 11 replies

College lecturing

2004-04-28T15:06:57Z

Last night i spoke with a bunch of film students from the University of Oklahoma. Gotta say: I'm finding the talks to students way more gratifying than most of the bookstore events.

Does anyone have ideas on how to get a steady pipeline to the classroom audience?

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 1 reply

Re: Julian's book

2004-04-03T15:44:17Z

Hey man,

Tell me about The Ballad of the Whiskey Robber

posted in Non-Fiction Writers - 7 replies